So I started doing this with some candles my sister gave me, and y'know what happened?
Because I used the candle, realised how much I liked my house smelling nice. So, i did more to fill my house with nice smelling stuff. I bought reed defusers, I bought flowers (which I stopped doing cause they smell quickly), I cared more about making sure my bins were empty and my sink was clear. I also developed more of a sense for what smells I did like. Like, I prefer woody smells. Incense and sandlewood.
And I realised how nice my house looked when it was clean. So I made more of an effort to clean my house. And cleaning never felt like a chore because I only cleaned when I wanted to.
And because I was cleaning my house more, I made decisions that helped to keep the house clean more often. I found homes for the loose things that never had a home before. I started remembering where things were because they were usually in their homes. I found or bought things to put things in.
It was hard because I'm not good at it, but slowly I developed those skills and got better at it. I realised how little pride I had had in my own home, and sought out new reasons to be proud. I bought things to put on my walls. I just bought myself a rug this week. I might even invite people over.
Anyway, just saying that maybe enjoying the small, fleeting things, is more important than we expect.
my most recent strategy for dealing with executive dysfunction is that when I catch myself lying in bed thinking “I want to be doing the productive thing, but for some reason I’m still just lying here, wtf is wrong with me” I start mentally screaming until I get up.
I don’t mean screaming AT myself, I just mean screaming. Like, a battle cry, or a tantruming baby. The goal is to fill up my brain with “AAAAAAAAAAA” until I am vertical. I can’t articulate WHY it works, but so far it’s working for me!
[ID, first picture: reply from user raddivole, “op you’re going super saiyan”. End ID.]
[ID, second picture: an image of Son Goku, from Dragon Ball, screaming and going Super Saiyan, edited to look as if he’s inside a stock picture of a bed from a top-down view, with a pink duvet over him. End ID.]
frisk is just a fucking baby. and everyone just monologues at them
alphys: you know i… i used to hate myself, before you came along. i don’t know… i don’t want to use you to boost my self esteem but i just want to say… thanks, you know? for giving me a little more confidence, i guess. you’re really special to me
the commodification of friendship is the most annoying thing to come out of the internet in ages. like actually i love to break this to you but you're supposed to help your friends move even if it's hard work. or stay up with them when they're sad even if you're gonna lose sleep. you're supposed to listen to their fears and sorrows even if it means your own mind takes on a little bit of that weight. that's how you know that you care. they will drive you to the airport and then you will make them soup when they're sick. you're supposed to make small sacrifices for them and they are supposed to do that for you. and there's actually gonna be rough patches for both of you where the balance will be uneven and you will still be friends and it will not be unhealthy and they will not be abusive. life is not meant to be an endless prioritization of our own comfort if it was we would literally never get anywhere ever. jesus.
A lot of the time help balances out in the big scale of things but doesn’t balance out between 2 people. When I was in school or unemployed, friends with jobs paid tickets for me so that we could go see movies and bands together. Older friends helped me when I didn’t know how to fight my landlord to get my deposit back. I’ve never repaid them or helped them as much as they helped me. But I am doing all the same things for my younger and unemployed friends now. And I don’t keep a list or expect them to compensate me. Their time to be someone’s helping friend will come. That is normal. That is how help is supposed to work.
You’re going to encounter some people who take but never give even when they can. Those people suck and need to learn more about being a good friend. If you’re a woman, you’re going to be asked to do care work more often than men are. That’s sexist and it sucks. If you’re disabled, some ‘friends’ are going to question whether you really need that help. Those ‘friends’ need to unlearn their ableism and that sucks too. But (1) most of those situations are not abuse, they’re just not great and (2) most situations where you’re giving help or receiving help are none of these things. They’re just giving or receiving help, which is an essential part of being friends and of existing in a society together.
everyone giving up on masks is so fucking stupid, like it’s like if everyone was like huh, we’ve been wearing seatbelts for a while now and it’s really decreased the amount of injuries people have had in car crashes. let’s all stop wearing them now cause we can’t live in fear forever! no more seatbelts unless you really want one! Oh, you’re still wearing a seatbelt? Didn’t you know you don’t have to use those anymore? why are you being so paranoid?
